Are you done with needing liquid courage to get you feeling free and social around people? Are you tired with the hangovers in the morning, embarrassed about your actions the night before? ’How to become social without alcohol, even if you’re shy’, is essentially a step by step guide to being social, without the crutch of booze.
Below are my top 3 rules to be social for a no-alcohol on a night out:
#1 Have the most fun of everyone
Fun isn’t something that happens to you, dependent on external circumstances such as being high or drunk. Instead, fun is a choice and a self-generated mindset that comes from within, a sharing of energy and emotions which make other people feel uplifted and in a heightened mood.
When you commit to having more fun than anyone, you’re basically saying to yourself, ‘I’m not going to let my inhibitions rule me. I’m not going to ruminate and self-indulge in anxiousness and nervous emotions. I’m going to share this amazingly fresh vibe I give off with everyone I meet.’ Once you make this choice, your interactions with people will change immediately. You’ll be the life of the party, and people will want you around them because you offer so much positivity – all whilst being sober.
Tips for getting in a fun state:
Like master guru, Tony Robbins, preaches, ‘motion changes emotion’. What he means by this is, when you move your body, your emotions change too. Therefore, if you are feeling in this stifled, anxious mood, then the fastest way to get out of it is to do something crazy, like ten star jumps in the middle of the dance floor, or doing the macarena. Suddenly, your state has changed and you’re feeling in this great mood.
#2 Be genuinely interested in others
Everyone wants to meet people, but you have to be the one proactively doing it. Not only that but if you take a genuine interest in people, they will feel a great sense of gratitude for you, as we all know that everyone’s favorite person to talk about is themselves. You don’t need alcohol to be genuinely interested in other people, right?
Therefore, be genuinely interested in others. Speak for 30% of the time, and let them speak the other 70%. Make them feel like a champion. Find ways you can not only add fun to the party but also how can you add value to their life. By being so giving to other people, and such a cool person, I guarantee you will have way more friends with this attitude, by just waiting for other people to approach you.
This is one of the most crucial ways to building relationships with people, and by taking away alcohol from the equation, you can learn how to network with people on a world class level (if you choose to learn).
Questions to create great conversations:
A great question that I learnt from founder of the 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge, James Swanwick, is ‘What’s you story?’.
‘What’s your story?’ is so powerful, because it allows people to talk about their story in a meaningful way. It also reveals a lot of interesting information, with plenty of topics and points to talk about. It’s a more open and giving question, rather than asking ‘what do you do?’.
Another question to ask for the great conversation, is ‘why?’ because it reveals the core drives and desires behind, particularly actions, which reveal more about one’s character. For example, ‘why did you move to Canada for 3 years?’ – it’s an open question which invites a very rich and informative answer. If you ask ‘why?’ Enough times, you will get to someone’s core and fundamental values.
#3 Don’t judge yourself
Whether you’re sober or not, just embrace it. Acknowledge that nearly everyone is tired or scared, and has their own individual inhibitions. Therefore, instead of indulging in your nervousness and anxiety and judging yourself, I advise you to do the opposite and focus on showing other people a good time. You’ll find that this mindset will magically kill your nerves, and instantly boost your mood – a natural social remedy, without the need of booze.
Most people consider alcohol to be an absolute requirement of any social interaction they have. Whether they’re hanging at the bar, on a date, or doing almost anything social, it’s like they feel that they must be drinking!
The truth is that you simply don’t have to drink to have a good time! In fact, there are a myriad of ways that you can have the best time of your life without alcohol involved.
You do, however, have to be a bit more creative about what you choose to do. You can’t just fall back on the same “hang out at the bar” plan, you have to actually think!
The result of thinking about it and doing something creative, however, is that the event an interaction will be so much more memorable for it, and you will actually have a much better time! Try it! Try out some of the activities below, and see how much more your life can be without alcohol.
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- Most people think that alcohol is required for social interactions. But it doesn’t have to!
- Use your creativity to come up with different and better ways to hang out with people that don’t include alcohol
- Giving up alcohol will actually help you surround yourself with the type of people you will want to be around
Bonus: Here's Some Fun Non-Alcoholic Social Activities…
- Morning hike
- Go for a walk in the sunshine or the snow
- Meet at a cafe or juice bar
- Run errands together
- Meet for desert
- Get silly on a novelty date, like mini-golf or something else
- Try pretending to be a tourist in your own town